Today my eye doctor told me that I'm healing up well and can start to get back to normal life stuff. Hooray for normal life stuff! I tell you, there's nothing quite as scary as thinking you might be down one eye.
Almost as freaky is knowing I now have a plastic buckle helping to hold my retina in place. Gross to think of, but fascinating, too. Since my sister is a surgery nurse, she has friends with access to medical devices and one of them took it upon herself to mail me a sample of the buckle in my eye.
I didn't know whether to thank her or slap her as I rolled the alarmingly flimsy looking piece of plastic (that might have served as a faucet washer in less medically advanced days) across my hand.
Then I had an evil thought--to take the sample to my next doctor's appointment, hidden in a pocket. When the doctor's back was turned, my plan would have been to slip the buckle into my hand and say something low-key like, "Hey, doc. Last night I was watching TV and suddenly sneezed REALLY hard. Then this thing popped out of my eye. What do you make of it?"
Some jokes are better abandoned in the planning stages, I wager.